Baby i'm confused n upset.

i am realli confused n i dun exactly noe wat i wan n wat i'm doing. i jus break off wit a 15 yrs old guy, everyone told mi tat he realli loves mi , but i'm not sure wat kind of feelings i had for him . i do miss him alot. but when we r together , he dun noe how to reasure mi as much as i treasure him . he is like a small boy to mi n everyone. if we quarrel, everyone will sae is my fault, not his fault. he wun be at fault 1 .how unfair it is. he lied to mi everytimes, n i had to forgive him for his mistakes. its always mi,to be blame. i realli can't stand it. after break up i feel relieve. i dun noe y i feel tat way. but is not tis feel tat i wan from him. i realli wish to love him even though he is 2 yrs younger den mi. i put my whole heart towards him, but he keep on lie to mi. i forgive him once, but everything is lyk history repeat itself. at times when my friend callled when i'm wit him, his fren will dislike mi toking on e phone, cos they always thought tat i was toking to guy, but it is a fren afterall. i realli feel is a control. n he will never protect mi. i tell him, he will onli tell mi don care. but he never care how i feel. its so insecure. at times, i saw his msg, i saw his sent item, he sent to 1 ger saying he miss her veri much, n wish tat she can celebrate wit him, unfortunately, the ger can't make it, den he sent sob sob. cos on e dae of his birthdae,i'm wit to celebrate wit him, n i saw tat msg ,she sent to e ger, i suddenly feel so hurt n my heart sank to e deepest ocean. i suddenly had an urge to go, but i tell myself, never let him noe i'm upset. den i tried smiling reluctantly. fortunately he didn't realise tat. after tis thing, i called his cousin n his cousin told mi he did it on purpose, i feel relieve tat i didn't fall into his trap. i jus don understand y he did tat. he jus love to upset mi. i realli hate tat . he told mi he love mi, n tis is e way he love mi. i already tell him to give up on mi, cos mayb he isn't e guy tat i wan. frankly speaking, i already done my part to put in every effort i can in tis realtionship, but he not understanding n tolerance at all. at times we quarrel, he will never own up to sae sorry or even explain to mi y he lied. he never learn . n i can waste my breath, every night repeat to him e same thing, but its like wasting my saliva on it. i realli cannot stand him . i hope he will give up, even though between us, there is love, but i prefer happy rather den continue lyk tat, both also not happi. no point. haiz. sadded . =x .