i cant control my emotions. i cant control my absurb attitude. i cant control jealousy. i cant control possesiveness. when one fall too many times, you'll be afraid to fall again. the phobia grew rapidly like a snowball effect. protecting yourself by changing drastically & it ended up that your everything became disastrous. you clearly know that it's really extremely disastrous but you chose to hide from it. it then became a habit to hide from problems you face in your everyday life. and it really turned from bad to worst.and the worst thing ever was that your brain cant function properly. I wonder if i could watch u pass by, i watch the stars as they shine, i wonder if its true that they were flakes. again i failed to draw the line. i kept throwing myself to you, i miss and hate over the sight. if i pray realy hard like i did the last time, will i still get what i long for? and now when i believe when they say peoply always come running back. sometimes in life things happen for a reason, while other times it makes no sense at all. but believe me, i will try to make it the last. in my eyes, it ain't worth it anymore. do u feel that suddenly like it doesn't meant what it used to mean. i am wondering would i ever have the chance to ever look back regretting what i chose. will i ever look back and wonder why i let a good one go, or will i look back and smile and think that it was worth the risk. till now, i still miss him, my sunshine from the past. looks like i am not as strong as i thought. i need a break down seriously. i need a let down immediately. i thought it was a play but i lose control and here i am standing and wonder why did i ever wanna rush it while i had it at the best point of the time. it was only you and me, now its gone. washed away. washed me away too.
