A new begining.

i hav decided to give up on u, cos holding on you is really painful. n u can't feel the pain i'm having. its bettere to let go den hold on. i don wns to drop any single tears on u. cos its really hurts me alot. i now hav a nice bf, n i hope this relationship can last. cos i wns to prove to u tat without u i still can lead a happy life.

Consideration.

I have been consider real hard for e past few days, i really don wns to get u out of my mind. i donno y, i simply jus loves u too much. OTHER den dex, other guys i don wns. i only wns u. i will wait for u. i donno whether ur words can trust , though u lie to me once which is more den enough, but i still hab e urge to wait for u. i don wish to give up u. cos u told me tat temporary now don be together first. i doono for wad reason. though i feel like i'm a fool n being so foolish. but i still will wait for u, DEX!! u're e guy tat i love truthfully now! no one else can replaced u in my heart.

"Emphasis" to esp: GUYS!!

if a girl cries in front of you,
it means that she couldn't take it
anymore.
If you take her hand,
she would stay with you for the rest of
your life;
If you let her go,
she couldn't go back to being herself
anymore.

A girl wont cry easily,
Except in front of the person
who she love the most,
she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily,
only when she loves you the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you
please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay
with you for the rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you,
please dont give her up,
maybe bcoz of your decision,
you ruin her life.

When she cry rite in front of you,
When she cry bcoz of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's
feeling?

Think.
Which other girl have cried
wif pure sincerity,
Infront of you,
And bcoz of you?
She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or
pity,
She cry,
Because crying silently is no longer
possible,
the pain,hurt,n agony have
become too big a burden to be kept
inside.

Guys,
Think about it,
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you,
And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat u have
done,
Only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may be too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say "im sorry".

RAining day!!

It been raining from yesterdae night until now. omg. non stop.!! so cold ! i went to cut my hair. cos too long den it seems so fake. lols."dots'!! =X. .hm, he went bk to camp lers. i wun bother him anymore . he is heartless. hmph! no point being so "tiong xim". end up being hurt lyk fuk. i now don wns think bout e past. jus walk straight n i will never turn bk. cos behind e past, there are so muh sad memories n some more unforgettable momeries. some things meant to forget i will forget, some things meant to remember i will always remember. hm, jus now went to tamp n waited for ping, for bout 35mins. she's late. lols. but nbm. she still gt rush down . after tat xm cor me n i went bk bedok n meet her n also gt jac .. we went to blk 29 te mama shop there slack under block downstairs. lol. we play cards . damn bored. but nbm, anw, its fun.

Fading loves .

U realli disappoint me fuking muh. tell me yesterdae wns meet me den don hab. hais. call u den u don ans. ad msn tok to u, den nv reply. wat the fuk sio!! knn. pek cek sia. nbcb!! aiya.without u, i still can find a better guy n go on happily! NOW u're nothing to me ok. I will forget u . No point carry on lyk this! =X . it will only makes my life fuking miserable. i will not forget how u treated me. I loves u so muh n this is how u treated me! damn sux man . y relationship so sux sia. knn. hate him sia. treat me like wat sia. pcb. i not ur spare tyre lah. !! argh!! fuking angry ahh.. u lie to me i oso nv sae anything. i treat u so goood, den u treat me lyk fuk. DISAPPOINTED !! SAD SIA!! hate loves. fuk off la !

I finally heard his voice .

Todae is christmas. Before i went to orchard countdown, i was at bugis wit wenquan n eddie. while quan went to buy his food, n i was sitting alone at e foodcourt ad bugis street, i suddenly feel lyk calling dex. i called n he ans. n i ask him whether he still wns to continue tis relationship n he sae now don wns first. he lyk wns me to hold on. but he sae dn be together first. wat the hell sio!! hais. but nbm la. i'm alr prepared to face e worst. i den ask him when he wanna meet me. he sae meet me tmr. cos tues he gg bk camp les. his. i dunno if he will meet me up tmr as he saes. i den sae to him to enjoy , n den i hang up. i donno if i should still wait for him. maybe i will give up, maybe i will hold on n be tiong xim to him. but if dex continues hurt my feelings, how muh i loves him oso he don care wat. hais. wat should i do? confused, ! =XX. !!

Stress waiting for his reply.

missin you *


I'm so worried tat he would leave me. Tmr he is coming out le. i dunno if he will contact me. i scared he wun. if realli he wun, den i would be very heartbroken. hais. later sad till death sio. lol. =XX. painful waiting . Dunno wat he would sae when he come out from camp. dunno if he will contact me or meet me. think he wun hab e heart de los. to do all this thing . i'm waiting down here for him. hais. i realli scared he wun contact me ad all sia. hais. WAITING FOR U!! i realli realli loves u. i do i do i do. =XXX. !!!

I still think of u .

talkin to someone *

I cried jus now while toking to his frenz. we tok bout him. n it makes me drop tears again. i dunno y m i so emotional. hais. i guess u're on my mind cos of how badly u treated me. i realli can't stop thinking of e way u treated me. i won't forget e dae u lied to me, n god let me sees it. its heaven's will. i once wnted u badly , but u choose not to cherish me.Dex i realli loves u damn lots. without u, i'm jus nothing. i feel so sad n heartbroken but u're reply, 'sorry'. i don wns to hear sorry, i wns to hear something else better . can u sae dat? rather den leaving me this consequences to let me bear everything which actually i don hab to bear? y u let me suffer so much jus becos of ur love n return. i realli misses u. its hard to forget u noe!!

I still have to move on without u .

My life still have to go on without u. yesterdae wentto interview job wit ping n jess. lol. my mum sae e job is like bluff ppl de. but i dunno lehs. must see how. todae go see. yesteradae i cried again foe him. hais. waste my tears sio. lols. den ping n jess tell me don cry not worth den they tell mi give up better. yea. give up better at least not so pain. or else i really will heaqrtbroken until siao sia. hais. i will find a guy better den him. n will double give him bk e pain. let him noe my pain. -.-. !

i will wait for u.

Jus went to do my hair extention. so long. lols. hm.. i miss dexter. i will wait for him no matter it rains or shines. tats a promise. xDD

think of toopid dex realli pissed me off. hais. how cm i love 1 guy tat don treasure mi. i realli wns him so badly n lok wt u hab done to my feelings. hm, he toyed wit my feelings. realli loves him sia. hais. can he cherish mi? i realli miss him lyk fuk sio. every minute, every second keep on thinking of him. my mind is only him. i will wait for him till e day he released tat my love for him is so true. DEX, i'm serious bout it. argh!! but u not good . i wns get u out of my toopid ming ah. i can't stand it. my heart is broken. without u, i'm really nothing. i can't leave without u.

happy shoppings wit my pretty babes.

Today went shoppings with wei ping n xiao jess. they told me not to think bout dex anymore as he don worth my loves. They sae not to think bout anymore guys cos not 1 guy can be trusted. haiz. y is my love life always so ruined sia. hate it sia. i'm so heartbroken sia. haiz. jus now msg 1 of my guy frenz. fuk sia. give me attitude sia. what the hell sia. i don own him a living. damn angry sia. not happy den tell mi la, den i jus don contact him. sux man. hmph. aahh. i wns forget dexter la. i really wns. my kor kor tell me i need time to heal my heart. aiyo. see how it goes la. lets nature decides everything. btw, i loves my darlingk sisters, ' Wei ping'. mwahs. n xiao jess. loves lots. sisters misses. x))

shopping todaes.

Todae early in e morning wake up at 8 plus. wa. so early sia. accompany my mum go science centre cos her company organise los. den the whole process end at 3pm. ahh. finally. den meet up my yiyi n cousins ad tampines mall. we go buy christmas presents. hahas. so happy. x)). hais. but my loves heart haben totally healed. i feel tat no one can healed my heart except 1 guy. can't say. secret. lols . i really hope he can heal my heart. cos i'm missing e dex painfully. aaahh. =X . i donno y i miss him f**king much. haiyo. ^^doinks^^. maybe i jus need time to forget. but dex i realli wns u in my entire life. i swear . its enough to have u only. i really really loves u endlessly. but y can't u jus feel it? . hais. pls be my special someone DEX!! i only wns u so badly. hais. but lets nature takes its course. i will wait for u. =X .

Hidden sorrow i'm facing right now.

i'm a lonely soul waiting for his reply. i'm waiting so badly for him. i've wasted so much tears on him? y can't he feel it? i'm i so blinded by him?. y is my heart aching whenever i think of him. i really hate this kind of feelings. it really breaks my heart so much. why is my love life so ruined by his return. i really wns u so badly n i really need u. can't u be by my side. u once told mi u choosen mi before u go in army becos u noe i love u more than other girls. y izzit so true. i don wn to loves u so much. i'm so painful u noe. i guess u won't know how i'm feeling right now. everyday jus wishing for ur msg n call. but one u do. i'm so upset. i want to wwait foe u, but do u at least still care? i don think so. u don even noe i cried so badly jus becos of e way u treated me. i don wn to lose u. i promise i'll wait for u. i really loves u so much. every night sitting alone at the balcony crying n missing u badly. DEX i really loves u.

How i wish he's mine .

I'm damn sad over wad happen between mi n him. i nvr thought things would turn out so bad. he is not a responsible guy. i thought he is a guy tat will be serious with. hais.** i'm totally insane to have fallen back for him. or else i wouldn't hab turn out in this way. tmr he is gg army les. hm. good for him. hope he can go in n think properly uh. but it won't be any turning point. as i'm too hurt by him. i send him a msg jus now ad bout 8pm sayin tat " i'm too disappointed by tis relationship n badly hurt by him, n i keep droping tears cos he lie to mi ". he replied saying he is very sorry. at the point of time, i was at tampines mrt station. when i saw the msg of him saying sorry, i cried badly. i feel like dying right on e spot. omg, sry as in wat!! i don wanna him to apologise, i wns him to turn bk, but it wasn't wat i wan. hais. my heart shattered into million of pieces. i suddenly can't moved cos my heart was damn hurt. Y mi ? tat he wanna hurt? i loved him so muh. n everything dat i can't imagine jus happened wit a blink of eyes. everything was so fast tat i really can't take it. i got a nice frens, he consoled me. n made mi feel tat someone still dotes mi. i cried painfully on his shoulder, n he jus patt me n tell mi not to cry. i cry lyk hell, den he scolded me n told mi to stop crying. not worth it. den istop crying n wept away my tears. n i smoke 1 stick of cigg. den he toks to mi n makes mi feel much better. den i dunno y my heart don feel so pain. mayb his adore made me feel touched cos ad e point of time, when i'm really down, he was there for mi. 'i guess e thing i can only do is to forget him, i must do it.' "EMPHASIS"!! anyway lets nature takes its course.

Today i went to bugis ad bout 7plus in e evening. den i saw yong chuan ad e foodcourt. he suddenly told mi he saw dex ad bugis, den my heart beat fast, i thought he was joking.but it was true. he was ad bugis. den i start msg dex, whether he wns meet up, den he ask mi where m i, i sae i ad bugis, he den told mi he on bus, on e way home le.i thought its true. den i ignore him. after tat, my sis wans to went bk to e shop, den we went bk, guess,omg, wad i saw?! i saw dex outside e shop with his group of frens,but it is all guys. i don understand y he wn bluff mi. when i saw him at there, *my heart shattered into pieces**. i couldn't believe he is tat sort of guy tat would bluff mi. he still wns mi to give him time to think. i think he wn to avoid our relationship. he don wish to face it. den end up,i'm e only one facing everything. i won't know everything between mi n him would turn out this way, if i would to know, i wouldn't be with him. after i noe he bluff mi, he also saw mi, he himself noe he lies to mi. after tat, he still msg mi tis, "take care too, miss=)". den i'm shocked. cos i didn't msg him ad all. maybe he jus wns to pretend tat nothing happen cos when i noe he bluff mi, i didn't msg him anything, cos god let mi see his true colours. i msg him e last msg tat i had given up on him, i will give up on him de, cos he don worth my love nor my tears. i don believe in true loves. on e way home on cab, while singing 'ZUI JIN' with my sis, i suddenly think of him lying to mi, i drop tears. i'm so disappointed n sad. he don deserve my tears. i love him, but y can't he jus cherish mi? hais. SAD MI !! =(( ~!

i feel so meaningless. i give up a nice guy, n i chosen a guy tat i love, but y is everything seems so bad! i thought it will be a happy beginning,but it don seems to be. ever since i'm with him, our relationship seems no love in it. he don like wat, den i wouldn't do, but his last words to mi was " give me sometime to think" ! he still wn to consider wat sia, wat he actually wns sia. i don understand los. i already given all my heart to him, n now the ending is he don care about mi at all. i can tolerate him so much, but y can't he jus understand bout my feeling. he always sees mi negatively, feels so hurt. DEX i only wns u in my life. all my life i pray for someone like u.

now is 11.30p.m sharp. i am feeling so down. hard to express my feelings right now. totally shut down by him, he is e one who wns tis relationship, now end up like tat. i don exactly noes wad he wns sial. feel like end up tis relationship. he don care bout me ad all. **PISSED OFF** . cannot be tolerated. ^arghh^!! jus now i cor him cos he fu**ing whole day didn't contact mi at all. bo chap sia. aeyeee...i cor him den he sae he ad dinner, den he sae he will msg mi later on, bluff me 1 sia. f**k off la. hate tis kind of boy sial. like *ai mai ai mai* sial. what the hell. my sister tell me don care, he don contact mi den don bother about him, but i can't. i jus can't resist it. i like him, i told him, n i ask him whether he truly likes me, he like trying to avoid his ans. haiss. forget it. jus treat it as i'm blind while choosing him, becos of him, i let go someone whom treat me better den him. i REGRET!!

Hmmm,so long didn't have a chance to blog . finally back to my own home, previously i was staying ad my grandma hse, now my mum finally wns me to move back. =)). hais. now was so sad uh. cos my dear didn't msg mi or even cor mi ad all. so pissed off. =xx. i feel tad we r so near yet seems so far . i really hate tis, if i can't take it maybe i should jus "b..." !

Talking to babi . hm, he is a type of guy tad is being straightforward.Sometimes hard to tok sial.but i jus lovess his everything. i simply jus loves u too much. =.=. "doinks"

Ignorant turtle . =x Fantasize me.

outingsss


HUGS HUGSS!!


cousin & sisterr


neprintss;

i went outtings to tampines with my babe sis n my cutez cousin. actualli my sis wns to aask for job, but sad can't manage to get it. than we went to shoppings n taken some neoprints. it was quite enjoyable ya. x))

Yesterday went to stella's house to celebrate her birthday. there is buffet for us. alot of frenz of her's come and brought her beautiful presents. she was happy can .lol. simply loves her.
Her bdae kiss,of cos .

Some arts written on my body .

Was down slacking with my bb .

Hence we took some photos.

This dog simply too adorable. I love it.

On e way to MOMO, my beloved blood sis.

Yesterday jus went to my stella birthday party, took some pics wit her bro.

Ad stella birthday party .slacking ad room.